


Losing The Home I Made in You

by Katsuu



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: And becomes homeless, Angst, Blood, Death, Dissociation, Hurt - No Comfort, I'll have you know this took me years to write, If this made you feel anything even remotely you can shoot me now or later, It's sad really when you think about it, Keith loses his home, M/M, Ok I'm lying but it sure felt like it, Pls don't hurt me for writing this, based on fanart
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-15
Updated: 2017-06-15
Packaged: 2018-11-14 08:15:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,678
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11204016
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Katsuu/pseuds/Katsuu
Summary: There was nothing Keith could do about it; it hurt too much for him to even begin to try and put into words the way it all felt.It was a familiar pain that always knew how to cut deepest; that made Keith want to cry out until he didn't have any voice left to cry out with, and even then he knew the anguish would still linger.Because it always did, only this time it was louder.And Keith could barely hear his own voice over its deafening roar.Alternate version of S2E1 in which Keith doesn't get to Shiro in time.





	Losing The Home I Made in You

**Author's Note:**

> Dedicated to [ichibri](http://archiveofourown.org/users/IchiBri/pseuds/IchiBri): seriously, this would probably have never been finished if you hadn't put your faith in me - so thank you~ ❤
> 
> Also based on [this fanart](https://v-0-3.tumblr.com/post/160486500077/alternative-version-of-e1s2-special-commission-for) by [v-0-3](https://v-0-3.tumblr.com/) and paired with [this song](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qkP6Tf79UrM)~
> 
> Unbeta'd so all mistakes are my own~

_"Sometimes home has a heartbeat."_

\- Beau Taplin

* * *

Keith's heart beat painfully fast, pounding heavily in his chest and throat as though it were trying to claw its way out of his rib cage. 

He lost his balance for a moment when one of his legs gave out beneath him, causing him to stumble, and he shut his eyes and gripped onto the side of a rock beside him to keep from falling, wheezing as his breath came out raspy from having run so fast for so long.

Beads of sweat clung to his face while a shiver ran up his spine, and when he made to try his helmet's comm, anxiety churned uncomfortably through his stomach at the prospect of not hearing from Shiro on the other line, and what that probably meant.

Considering the both of them had been separated from one another on two separate instances before this, Keith typically never got this anxious when heading out to find Shiro. (Mainly because chances were: Shiro was looking for him too).

This time however, when the two had managed to talk for a bit before the connection was lost, Shiro had told him that he'd gotten wounded during their battle with Zarkon and was now being cornered in a cave by some nasty looking creatures (both pieces of information that scared the shit out of Keith because he wasn't there by Shiro's side). Keith knew that anything could literally happen thanks to Shiro's weakened state, and so he was too terrified to even entertain the discomforting thoughts that leered and whispered mockingly in the back of his mind.

He had to hurry; time was running out.

While he used what few seconds he could allow himself to spare in order to catch his breath, he tried speaking into his helmet's comm, hoping above anything else that Shiro would answer and that he was still okay.

"Shiro? Shiro, are you still there? Answer me, please...!"

The faint buzz of a dull static crackling from the other line was the only sound that greeted his ears, and Keith felt the anxiety that was turning about in his stomach start to change into a full fledged panic, the deadly feeling threatening to flood over him if he so much as slipped and lost his control over it.

He needed to calm down - freaking the hell out wasn't going to help save Shiro, nor help him get to him any faster.

Taking in a slow breath, Keith shut his eyes and exhaled steadily through his nose, sharpening his senses as best he could.

"Patience yields focus," he breathed softly, opening his eyes. Then, pushing himself from the rock he darted off again, the Black Lion's location blinking on the screen display of his helmet.

_That really stayed with you, didn't it?_

Of course it had.

Keith didn't understand how Shiro hadn't thought that it wouldn't stay with him. After all, he'd said those words to Keith not only on Sendak's ship when they were trying to find Red, but way before that when he'd shown Keith how to pull off some of the trickier moves in the flight simulations they had to do back when they were both in the Garrison.

In hindsight, maybe it had seemed meaningless at the time that Shiro had said it, but for some reason (for Keith) it had stuck adamantly with him, making him more willing to try and redo the maneuvers he'd been messing up before (and had gotten frustrated at) just because Shiro had been the one to say it to him.

Back then, Shiro was the only one who'd understood Keith; the only one who _cared._

And that had meant so much to him then, as it still did now.

As it probably always would.

So yeah, there was no way Keith would ever just forget those words. They showed him that Shiro cared about his well being, if nothing else - and Keith would always remember that.

Now though, it seemed that ever on and on the land continued to stretch out as he proceeded to push forward under the heat of the bright sun bearing down on him, his heart still beating strong in his chest; a few dry gusts of wind dusted past him and sent a dusty haze about the canyon floor, the wind wailing as it passed through the cracks and crevices that laid between the hard, jagged rocks. Within only a few minutes though, Keith finally caught sight of the Black lion, and the sight alone instantly sent his heart soaring.

A laugh of relief escaped him, and when he allowed himself to slow down to a jog, his eyes closed halfway in the slight exhaustion that tugged down on him.

"There you are," he murmured softly, catching his breath again for a few seconds as exhilaration spread throughout him.

Rocks crunched underneath his feet when he made it to the edge of the small cliff he was standing on, and as he crouched and slid the rest of the way down, the Black Lion came more fully into view. Taking a leap to clear the final bit of cliff left, his eyes sought out the barren landscape as soon as he made the landing, scanning the area while he started forward again with greater purpose.

"Shiro!!!" he shouted aloud, hoping that since their comms weren't working, Shiro would be able to hear him if he was anywhere nearby. His heart began to slightly quicken though when his voice merely echoed back to him off of the rocky walls that surrounded him, the fear laced in it registering in his own ears as he heard it return back to him.

His teeth ground together tightly when he gritted them and he once again tried to suppress the panic that began to nudge and push at him incessantly.

"Shiro!!!" he cried out again, the desperation in his voice ringing in his own ears.

Again, no sound other than his own voice answered him.

And then the panic he'd been trying to suppress finally started to ease its way around his heart, squeezing painfully as it began to steal his breath away from him.

No, he couldn't be too late.

He hadn't come this far just to learn that he'd been too late. Shiro was around here - he had to be.

_Please. Not again._

_Don't take him away from me again._

Keith's eyes looked around helplessly as he searched the ravine dense with jagged rocks that stuck out of the canyon walls, Black laying silently behind him as though she had never once moved at all.

The sight sent an image of Shiro laying just as motionless on the ground through Keith's mind, and Keith once again stumbled as he lost his balance, a gasp escaping him while his breaths came out in stutters.

"Sh-shit...!" he cussed, reaching out for something to grab onto before he collapsed.

And then he heard it:

A quiet breath, transmitting clearly through his helmet while his violet eyes widened with emotion.

"Keith...? Is that you? Can you hear me?"

Keith didn't care if the tears that began welling up in his eyes exposed his vulnerability - didn't care if he was failing to keep his composure like he needed to, so his mind could be clear like he needed it to be.

Shiro's voice alone dissipated every fearful thought that raced through his head, like cool water pouring heavily over a dying flame. Keith wiped his eyes swiftly before looking around, a grin spreading over his face.

"Shiro! Oh thank God, Shiro.... you're still okay..! What happened? Are those creatures still trying to get to you?"

Shiro's response was delayed when he paused in what Keith took to be exhaustion, because he could hear it in the other male's voice even though all he'd said was Keith's name.

But it didn't matter because he was okay; that was the only thing Keith cared about right now.

The sound of Shiro's breathing coming from the other line calmed him down easily, and he listened intently when Shiro finally began to speak.

"They...left suddenly. I think they only tried attacking me because they're territorial.....Must've-ngh..!"

Keith's eyes widened automatically when Shiro grunted in pain.

"Shiro!"

"Gh.......Haa.... Hey, no, it's...I'm okay...Just a...little sore is all. I'll be fine. But what I was saying before...They must've just given up on me."

A pain-filled set of coughs scratched their way out from his throat before he could finish though, and he gasped in pain again. Keith felt a familiar restlessness settle over him again, and though he didn't realize it he was biting his lip hard enough that it was starting to bleed, the wet warmth trickling down his mouth.

He needed to get to Shiro quickly, he realized, otherwise he probably wasn't going to stay okay for much longer. And Keith wasn't about to let that happen. Shiro was okay right now and Keith was going to do everything he could to make sure he stayed that way.

"Shiro, I'm at the Black lion right now, which direction are you in?" he asked, tapping the button on the side of his helmet so that his screen brought up a scan of the immediate area. As it flickered to life the location of the Black Lion blinked in the center of the screen's peripheral, but Shiro's vital signs weren't registering as being anywhere nearby.

"North.....to the north. Past the arch on the left; I can see it from where I'm at," answered Shiro breathlessly.

"Okay, I gotcha. I'm heading over, hang in there."

And with that Keith darted off quickly and jumped over a pile of rubble that blocked his path, sliding on the rocks that he landed on but avoiding slipping on them when he used them to push off as he continued forward, his heart feeling much lighter than it had been feeling before.

Because Shiro was okay.

Keith hadn't been too late. There was still time to save him.

 _I'm not going to lose you,_ he thought happily, relief flooding throughout him. And though he knew the storm still wasn't over yet, just the thought alone that he'd at least be by Shiro's side to back him through it all made Keith feel that much more reassured about their situation. He didn't have to worry anymore.

The wispy clouds overhead blotted out the bright sun above, and as Keith stepped over the inclined plane that made up the small ledge he was on, he caught sight of the rocky archway that was stretching over the small canyon floor below, casting its shadow over the cold, hard stone.

"Okay, I can see the arch!" he called out in relief.

"Good. Just keep going straight," Shiro answered, and from the tone of his voice, Keith could tell that wherever he was there was likely a small smile spread across his lips.

The thought brought a similar smile to Keith's face, as he grew ecstatic at prospect of finally being able to reach Shiro.

As soon as he made it onto even ground he sprinted the rest of the way across, his breath huffing out unevenly and his heart racing but the smile remained painted across his face.

Finally, he caught sight of Shiro's arm sticking out from behind a larger rock and he pulled off his helmet and skidded to a stop, dust kicking into the air and a laugh bursting from his chest.

"Shiro! Shiro, I'm here-"

Violet eyes widened, as they were caught in the pool of red that laid beneath Shiro, the dark color tingeing the rips and shreds of the Black Paladin's armor a deep crimson red as the torn flesh there continued to bleed.

...No.

Labored breaths puffed from Shiro's slightly parted lips as he noticed Keith, head slightly turning to look at him from the corner of his eyes. A sad smile tugged at the edge of his mouth while he looked at Keith, white bangs strewn messily over his dull and faded grey eyes.

"Keith."

_No._

Keith's vision began to blur, a painful ache blossoming in his chest as red, black, and white all bled into each other, blending into a portrait of anguish that pierced his heart.

NO.

"Keith....Keith, I'm sorry..."

_No. This wasn't supposed to happen. It wasn't supposed to turn out this way. The creatures left. Shiro had said they'd left._

A labored breath slipped from Shiro's lips as he continued to look at Keith, guilt bleeding from his eyes.

"Keith..?"

Gravel crunched underneath the soles of Keith's boots as he lost the strength in his legs and fell to his knees. His arms were the only things holding him up as his eyes stared fixedly at Shiro, wide and brimming with the tears he was trying to hold back.

 _No_ , they said.

The colors continued to swirl and dance before his eyes - tormenting him, and every now and then the colors would sharpen into focus, forcing him to see the same image he'd seen before in some of his worst nightmares. Only this time though, Keith was awake, and even if Keith shut his eyes and opened them again, Shiro would still be laying there, slipping away slowly from Keith no matter how much he tried to hold on to him.

This couldn't be real. It had to be some trick. Keith didn't want this.

_He didn't want this._

Time seemed to slow for him as he reached a shaky arm out, placing an unsteady hand on top of Shiro's chest. The damaged armor plate rose and fell steadily beneath his palm from Shiro's breathing as he looked at Keith with tear filled eyes of his own, irises swirling with pain and hurt.

It was at that moment when a wet warmth began to trail down Keith's cheeks as the tears collecting there brimmed over, dripping softly onto the stone ground beneath the two of them and fading into the rock nearly as soon as they landed there.

His eyes darted over Shiro's broken body and lingered on the bloody wounds that adorned his chest; Shiro could tell that he was trying to figure out a way to fix everything - _save_ him, but Shiro already knew there was nothing he could do. And it was that truth that brought tears to his eyes. So he smiled at Keith, tears shining in the corners of his eyes as he closed them and relaxed in the relief that washed over him, because Keith would be there with him until the end.

"Shiro. Stay with me- I...I- Oh God," Keith choked out beside him, and he grasped tightly onto Shiro's leg when Shiro wrapped an arm around his waist and pulled him forward to hold him close, the Black Paladin's eyes closing halfway and his eyebrows furrowing upwards as a shuddery gasp tore from his throat.

"Keith...Keith, it's not your fault. _It's not your fault..._ "

And then the tears collecting in his eyes started to fall - a sign that he knew that there was no getting out of this one.

Not this time.

But for all his acceptance he held Keith close to him, his other hand coming up weakly to stroke his Red Paladin's hair.

As he looked at him he could see that Keith had his eyes squeezed shut tightly, his shoulders shaking and his forehead pressed to Shiro's chest. Shiro ran his fingers gently through his hair while the tears continued to stream down Keith's dirt smudged face.

"Keith, hey. Hey, it's going to be alright," Shiro murmured softly.

But Keith didn't believe him.

Because he knew that there was no way things would ever be alright; not like this. Not if Shiro left.

He couldn't lose him again. Not again.

Keith had finally found him. _He'd only just gotten him back._ Why did the universe have to take Shiro away from him again?

He couldn't - _wouldn't_ let this stand. Shiro was all he had left, he couldn't just let him slip away again. Not after everything they'd been through.

Pushing up against Shiro's prosthetic arm, Keith held himself up again and looked down desperately at Shiro, his eyes glowing brightly with anger and defiance.

 _There's my Keith_ , Shiro thought fondly, but a sad smile was the only form of endearment he could offer at the moment, as he watched the teardrops dripping from Keith's dark eyelashes. Even in his despair, Keith looked so beautiful.

His violet eyes flickered with fear as he lifted his hand and saw Shiro's blood soaked there.

"What should I do?" he asked, fighting the despair that was trying to take over him at the sight of how much blood Shiro had lost. "What do I need to do to save you? I'm not letting you die, Shiro!! Please! Tell me what to do!"

Shiro had to have the answers - he always had the answers.

If anyone knew what to do right now, it was Shiro.

But Keith's eyes widened when Shiro merely smiled sadly at him again, his own tears streaming down the sides of his scratched and dirt smudged face, and when he placed his prosthetic hand on Keith's cheek Keith's brow lifted in anguish, distress filling his beautiful violet eyes.

"...No....Shiro, _please..._ " he pleaded as fresh tears began to fall from his eyes.

"Don't worry," Shiro finally answered with a soft murmur, and before the words even left his mouth he already knew what Keith's reaction would be. But even still, knowing didn't make it hurt any less when the younger male's eyes widened at his response before quickly narrowing as Keith gritted his teeth in a sorrowful anger.

Shiro could only look at him with every ounce of compassion he held within, the harm alone of knowing how much pain he was causing Keith right now eating away at him.

If only he had the means to help make Keith forget what pain felt like - he had already felt too much on his account, and Shiro didn't want to put Keith through losing him all over again - didn't want to think about what it would do to him. Keith had only just recovered from losing him once. And now Shiro was going to have to leave him again. For good this time.

Because he had to. There was no other choice.

"How the hell can I not worry?!" Keith cried out, and the anger and grief in his eyes reflected deeply in them as he clenched Shiro's chest plate tightly. "I'm not losing you again, Shiro! I can't- I don't know if I can-!"

He hung his head as his words left him.

Shiro's gaze weakened and he looked at Keith pleadingly, his thumb stroking carefully across the rise of Keith's cheekbone. Keith shivered under his touch, wet eyelashes fluttering for a second before he looked up tearfully, eyes begging Shiro to tell him what he needed to do to save him; tell him that everything was going to be alright, that Shiro was going to make it out of this.

But Shiro couldn't lie to Keith. And he couldn't give him answers he didn't have.

"Keith, please. You have to learn to let me go this time," he said.

He felt a pang in his chest when Keith's eyes widened fearfully, bright and devastated at what he heard. Shiro had hardly ever remembered seeing Keith so open with his emotions before - had hardly seen him _this_ pained, _this_ vulnerable, this _helpless._ It hurt more than he could say to see Keith hurting like this, to know that he was the cause of it all.

"Shiro, no...! Please! I can't-"

"You have to Keith. I don't want to be your undoing; please, don't make me your weakness."

His grey eyes looked desperately into Keith's, and Keith stared back with just as much desperation in his own.

 _Please don't do this to me,_ his eyes said. _Please, don't leave me alone again._

 _I'm sorry,_ Shiro thought. The rest of his fingers curled around the tip of Keith's ear as he traced its frame tenderly, regret swimming inside him. _I didn't mean for any of this to happen. You're not going to be alone, Keith. The others will look out for you._

Keith had always been able to read the small nuances of change that always flitted across the depths of Shiro's eyes whenever the older male felt differently about various things - whereas others usually looked to his bright smiles and words to try and figure out what was on his mind, Keith always knew to look to his eyes. But this time, tears continued to fall from Keith's eyes when he read what was in Shiro's gaze, broken at what he saw in them.

Shiro slipped his hand delicately from Keith's face and held it out for him to take.

"Keith," he called softly.

Keith's arms shook as he held himself up, head bowed and hair hanging over his eyes as his choked sobs broke out from his chest.

Seconds passed, but finally he took Shiro's hand, their fingers entwining with one another. Shiro smiled up at him.

"You know I'll always love you, right?" he said.

Keith's eyes finally looked into his, and his vulnerability was exposed out in the open for Shiro to see.

"Shiro...."

His voice shook.

"Shh..." hushed Shiro, and with a gentle tug he pulled Keith down on top of him again, cradling his head against the crook of his own neck and turning his head so that it was pressed to Keith's. "Shhh...just stay here with me until it's time."

Because there was no one else that Shiro knew he'd rather have by his side - no one else who knew him quite as much as Keith did, or no one else who loved him as much.

With this in mind, he moved over onto his side and bore with the pain so that he could meet Keith's eyes, their legs tangling together and his prosthetic hand brushing carefully over Keith's cheek, wiping away the tears he found there.

No matter how much he tried, Shiro found that he couldn't get over how right it all felt: to just have Keith here by his side in a way so unlike before. In an intimacy that neither of them dared breach before.

Shiro had always wanted it to be like this - had frequently dreamt of finally letting Keith know how he felt. But there was always something else - some responsibility to the world or to the universe - that always got in the way.

Now though, he was finally freed of all of the burdens that constantly weighed down on him wherever he went, and at last he was open to show Keith how he felt.

He had just wished before that when he finally got his chance, it wouldn't be anything like this. He hated that the universe decided that it should end up like this, because he didn't want to leave Keith yet; if he had a choice he would choose never to leave Keith at all. But at the same time, Shiro wasn't naive enough to hope he might make it, not when he couldn't feel the majority of his lower body and little by little felt his consciousness gradually slipping away from him.

He knew he had no choice in the matter. But regardless, he sure as hell was going to cherish and make the most of every last second the universe gave him with Keith.

He allowed his hand to be taken from him when Keith grabbed it and, clasping it tightly, brought Shiro's hand to his trembling lips and kept it close as their hands remained interlaced with one another.

Shiro still had his other hand though, and despite the fact that he could already feel his strength beginning to fail him, he still somehow managed to lift it and slip it carefully between the soft strands of Keith's hair, gripping a handful of it gently and bringing Keith's face nearer until he was close enough for Shiro to tilt his head to the side and press his lips to Keith's easily.

Black hair mingled with white as Keith's hand trembled in his, and despite the cool air that lingered about in the cave around them, the kiss was remarkably warm, and Keith's lips soft, as Shiro tilted his head so that his own lips fit more easily with Keith's, their mouths pressed together firmly at first until the motions became steadily more desperate and they made as though trying to devour one another in that one final moment - to give each other everything they had until nothing else was left to give or the time they had ran out.

Tears carved readily known paths down both of their faces, and hands grasped at whatever they could take a hold of, Keith and Shiro clutching tightly onto each other and pressing as close as they could get with what little time they had left.

Shiro had an idea that Keith might be willing to return his sentiments, but of this he was never entirely sure because for the most part, he was more certain that prior to him, Keith had never been this close to someone else (as a friend or otherwise). So Shiro figured Keith himself might not even know if what he felt for Shiro was a close friendship or something more.

Even now he realized that Keith might still not be sure what his feelings for him meant, if they meant anything more at all.

But Shiro wanted to be selfish, just this once. Even if neither of them knew what it meant, Shiro wanted to feel what it was like to kiss Keith before he lost the chance to do so forever.

And boy was he glad he went for it.

Kissing Keith was quickly turning out to be one of the best things he'd ever felt.

If he had his doubts about whether or not Keith would reciprocate his sudden rush of affectionate feelings, Keith completely washed them away by kissing Shiro back just as eagerly, their tongues dancing around one another as a flush spread across Shiro's cheeks.

He had to pull away for a breath of air eventually though, or else he'd suffocate, but he remained pressed close to Keith, touching their foreheads together as the two of them took a moment to recapture their breath and basked in the afterglow of the passionate moment they just shared.

 _I finally did it...._ Shiro thought tiredly, as he relaxed against Keith.

A sad smile caused his lips to curve faintly upwards and he was forced to close his eyes when the fatigue weighing on him like a heavy blanket finally overtook him.

"Keith...." he breathed softly, white bangs fluttering in the warm breeze that swept into the small cave. "I'll always love you."

His eyes remained heavy and he felt Keith wrap a warm arm around him, letting Keith cradle his head against his neck as the two of them breathed quietly in the silence, hearts dancing out of sync within their chests as time seemed to melt into memory.

Keith closed his own eyes and pressed his lips to the top of Shiro's head, eyebrows furrowing with pain.

"I know," he whispered brokenly, and Shiro smiled, opening his eyes and keeping them open for as long as he could. Suddenly, he had another urge to be selfish.

"Will you sing for me?" he asked quietly, lips parting as his slow breaths slipped past his mouth.

His question carried faintly in the wind, and Keith's eyes widened as he looked down at Shiro, watching the Black Paladin's eyes close when he couldn't keep then open any longer. Despite that, he was still listening, because he answered after Keith asked, "Sing? Shiro I don't...know if I can... I can't sing that good..."

He didn't get to see the slight, embarrassed flush that gathered around the line of Keith's cheekbones, but he did hear the disappointment wavering in his voice, and his smile grew.

"It doesn't matter. I just want to hear your voice."

_You sing much better than you think._

"I-I.....okay."

 _Not to mention you're cute when you get flustered,_ Shiro thought, and he rested his head against Keith's chest, content to just lay there in Keith's arms - the most comfortable place he could ever be.

While Keith cleared his throat nervously, Shiro waited and listened to the sound Keith's heart made as it beat inside his chest, and as he did that he thought back on the time he first heard Keith sing.

It had been on top of the Garrison's roof, of all places, but despite that it made sense - both of them knew where to go if they wanted to be left alone. At the time, Keith hadn't thought that anyone else would go up there and so had thought nobody would hear him singing along to his music; but Shiro had found him up there, and Shiro had heard him.

Neither of them were practiced singers, but Keith really did have a lovely voice for someone who wasn't at all practiced. And because of that, it was absolutely one of Shiro's favorite things to hear, aside from his laugh, and he was glad he'd be able to hear it one last time.

Just as he was reminiscing on that memory, the sound of Keith's voice beginning to softly flow through the silence brought him back to the present, and when Shiro recognized what song he was singing he smiled and relaxed completely into Keith's frame.

Listening to the lovely sound that his voice created whenever he would reach certain notes was as soothing as Shiro remembered - it only now dawned on him that it had been a while since he'd last heard him sing.

  
_"There is a house built out of stone_  
_Wooden floors, walls and window sills_  
_Tables and chairs worn by all of the dust_  
_This is a place where I don't feel alone_  
_This is a place where I feel at home."_

  
Another warm gust of wind swept heavily into the small cave, toying with Shiro's hair while he breathed silently, and Keith stroked his fingers through his hair, lips parting for the next verse.

  
_"'Cause, I built a home_  
_For you_  
_For me_  
_Until it disappeared_  
_From me_  
_From you_  
_And now, it's time to leave and turn to dust."_

  
Softly, delicately, Shiro's heartbeat began to weaken - faltering as his breathing became deeper in whatever depths he was falling into.

Keith felt it, even as he held him in his arms and continued to sing, warm tears streaming slowly down his cheeks and landing in Shiro's hair.

  
_"Out in the garden where we planted the seed_  
_There is a tree as old as me_  
_Branches were sewn by the color of green_  
_Ground had arose and passed it's knees_  
_By the cracks of the skin I climbed to the top_  
_I climbed the tree to see the world_  
_When the gusts came around to blow me down_  
_I held on as tightly as you held onto me_  
_I held on as tightly as you held onto me."_

  
His hold on Shiro tightened, and the ache in his chest blossomed into a pain that made it difficult for him to just sing when Shiro was slipping away right in his arms.

There was nothing Keith could do about it; it hurt too much for him to even begin to try and put into words the way it all felt.

It was a familiar pain that always knew how to cut deepest; that made Keith want to cry out until he didn't have any voice left to cry out with, and even then he knew the anguish would still linger.

Because it always did, only this time it was louder. And Keith could barely hear his own voice over its deafening roar.

But still, he sang. Because Shiro's life was dwindling, and Keith couldn't do anything to stop it from happening - to save Shiro. So he gave him his voice, and his words, and hoped that it was enough.

Even though all Keith wanted to do was chase him into a place where he knew he couldn't follow.

  
_"And I built a home_  
_For you_  
_For me."_

  
Clouds drifted across the sky and blotted out the bright sun, having gathered in the warm wind so that a blanket of them covered the pale sky - Keith hadn't noticed them before but as soon as a soft drizzle began to fall, he looked out the entrance of the small cave, holding Shiro's hand in his as he watched the puddles begin to collect on the rocks.

He felt empty.

When he laid his head back down he lined his body up close against Shiro, closing his eyes as the numbness began to settle over him. It was his defense mechanism - the reason he was even still alive.

It was like returning to an old, familiar, place he'd once turned into his home because he found himself there a lot, only there was never anything there. He was always alone.

It was the place he stepped into now as he settled his head beside Shiro's, the pitter patter of the rain washing away all else except the last few words of a melody he felt compelled to finish.

And so he continued to sing in a voice so soft it could barely be heard over the sigh of the rain, the words slipping across his tongue like the soft chime of a bell.

  
_"Until it disappeared_  
_From me_  
_From you."_

  
Thunder rumbled in the distance, and Keith allowed the exhaustion that prodded at him to overwhelm him, dragging him slowly into a darkness that embraced him like an old friend.

  
_"And now, it's time to leave and turn to dust..."_ he whispered, voice shaking.

  
And it all did.

 

**Author's Note:**

> Find me on [tumblr](http://searchingamongstars.tumblr.com/)~


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